Getting past that stage is huge, most people don’t get there. The next stage is to then try to identify what exactly the problem is.
This is so difficult, especially when you don’t know what it could be. It’s even worse when it might be because of something that happened in your childhood and the impact has remained in your subconscious mind.
Not identifying the real problem just creates a whole load of other problems. You’ll end up finding something else as the problem and lash out.
For example, if you’re unhappy about your job, or some element about your job and you don’t deal with it, you might end up coming home and starting an argument with your partner over little things.
If this continues and becomes a habit, you might end up thinking that your partner is the problem and start to feel like you need to end the relationship.
Once that happens, every time you have an argument you’ll just re-affirm your belief that the partner is the problem to the point where you might want to end the relationship thinking that’s the cause of your unhappiness and stress.
So you’ll end the relationship, carry on in life, maybe feel better for a while. You wont confront the real problem though, and so the anxiety will come back. And then you might think it’s because you’re lonely and you have no partner.
So then you’ll start looking for another partner, get stressed and depressed when you can’t find one, making it worse.
Until you do find a partner. Then you’re happy for a while. BUT….you didn’t confront the real problem…so after a while you start to argue with your new partner. And so the cycle continues.